The lonely road.. part 1

The urge to express the strong emotions invoked by a few unexpected events has taken over my indolence which had me procrastinating my return to blogs (huh..!!)

Life sucks; yesterday wasn’t any different, it only manifested itself with a renewed freshness. After 40 hours of tired insomnia, sleep wouldn’t come. The disappointments of the past few weeks had ensured that. Tired and sick, I started out on a long indefinite walk. How long and how far, I did not know.. All I had was my thoughts to mull over and of course, my little bug (canon SX10 IS).

Not wanting to worry my already tired psyche with the drudges of deciding my direction, I just let my feet use their brains (or was it my own genius slided down to them??). Not surprisingly, I soon realized I was headed in the familiar direction of the Necklace road.  Tank bund, the third most beautiful place in Hyderabad, for me, was welcomingly warm (yes… even literally, it being 4 in the evening)

It had been a long time since I had gone there. Actually it had been a long, long time since I had actually taken a walk, I realized.  Ever since I had graduated from using the company provided cab to my own bike (the reasons for which will come another day), I had become too lazy to walk. I had been procrastinating my walks, just the way I been procrastinating my blogs. Not any more(or so I hope..)

My boulevard of broken dreams, as always, had quite a few things in store for me..

Disappointment soon struck when I saw how wreaked the place looked. I knew there was some work going on but I did not realize the kind of ruin it had caused to that part of the city. There were huge long pits dug up, kids cycling in one of them, women washing clothes in the water accumulated in the other... what next? The commies planting their flags demanding these pits be allocated to the poor and homeless?? I hope not.

It was then I saw, two of them..    Continued..

I too had a blog..!!

I too had a blog, I wanted to say.. to all the friends of mine who were ranting about the posts they were putting up. But I am glad I had the restraint not to let them in on my blog. It’s only been two days since I realized I had a blog too.

The other day, I was having problems using my webcam with google account. I was checking my setting when I came across my google accounts, where I saw a small icon with a B on it... Not bothering to read what was beside the icon (one of the many habits of a software engineer), I clicked on it and was redirected to a very old blog which hadn’t been updated in a long time. It looked vaguely familiar with only two posts. It dint take me any longer than reading the first post to recognize the writing style. Who else could have been crazy enough to write such a post!! Yes that was my blog... I have to confess I had completely forgotten about it until this time.

I then decided I was not going to lose track of it again. I will keep writing. But then, here I am, looking at my blog with an urge to continue what I had started long ago and discontinued not long after. Still wondering what to write, I realized I had written quite a bit already. Not so bad for a first post, eh :) :)

Hopefully, until my next post, I’ll have figured out why I had quit writing.
Until then.. Adios

Reclaiming life..

Oh yes..you read it rite. I know I’ll be considered insane for saying that, but I have my reasons . Being ill isn’t all that bad when you consider what you get to learn from it. While I agree that illness is a bad phase that comes in one’s life, there’s a different way of looking at it. It helps you realize a lotta things that you wouldn’t otherwise have thought of.

Being terminally ill i was hospitalized for almost a week. But after coming home and being bedridden for a whole week after that, I realized it wasn’t all that bad. I had learn't a lot from all that had happened.

Firstly, it was a welcome break from my so very busy schedule. My friends think it was probably the only way I would have taken rest. Secondly, this break from work came at the appropriate time. Any later and my project would have been screwed. And any earlier, I wouldn’t have realized all that I now did. And most importantly it made me realize the importance of people in life.

Here I was, hospitalized for almost a week and these people whom I considered my best friends do not even bother to call on me. Not once do they try to inquire how I was, whether I was even alive. On the other hand, those people that I always considered secondary, those whom I never gave the importance that I now realize they deserve, call me up, come, meet me.. so many times to know how I was.

I now realize how important it is to identify people, to give them their due, to distinguish between the real friends and those flashy, pretentious people who only seem to be your friends. It pains me to realize how I never really cared about these people, who happened to be the only ones who cared about me when I wasn’t doing well. It really pains me to know that I have failed in recognizing people, in distinguishing the good from the bad, the perceptible from the imperceptible and the real from the pretentious.

Looking back, I cant help rueing the fact that the people who I thought were my good friends, didn’t turn out to be all that good . But I also see something that makes me feel so much better.. I still have friends.. in fact, a lot of them. What if they aren’t the ones I thought they would be? I still have people around me, people who care about me. What if some hapless souls dint really care about me.. Its not the end of the world, is it?

But I am happy. Happy that I realized all these things. I have no hard feelings for anyone, for I also realise..one cannot thrust his feelings on others. U cannot expect people to consider you as a friend just because they once did or because you consider them friends. Compassion, Love, Friendship ..these are things that one cannot incite in people. They just happen. One cannot feel bad just because someone doesn’t care about them. That’s the way of life and we gotta learn to live with it and move on. For If you don’t, you will be trapped in the infinite loop of sorrow and worry and will never be able to get out of it.

Thanks guys, for being with me all through. Thank you god, for making me ill, for showing me my true friends, for making me realise all these things. Thank you god for helping me reclaim my life.

My first post..!!

Hurraaah..!! Well..that’s how I feel at this moment, I really don’t know why I am sooo excited about having a blog of my own. But I really am happy. Guess its got something to do with owning a space of my own on the web.

When my friends advised me to start with a blog, I really wondered as to what I would write in a blog….As I start with my blog I still wonder what I should be writing here!! But I guess I am good enough to come up with something interesting.

I should, may be write about myself; the insignificant yet very interesting things that go on in the life of this eternally ingenuous amorist, which, am sure would make for a good reading for all u blogger-buffs out there;

See ya soon…hopefully not too soon..