Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Reclaiming life..

Oh yes..you read it rite. I know I’ll be considered insane for saying that, but I have my reasons . Being ill isn’t all that bad when you consider what you get to learn from it. While I agree that illness is a bad phase that comes in one’s life, there’s a different way of looking at it. It helps you realize a lotta things that you wouldn’t otherwise have thought of.

Being terminally ill i was hospitalized for almost a week. But after coming home and being bedridden for a whole week after that, I realized it wasn’t all that bad. I had learn't a lot from all that had happened.

Firstly, it was a welcome break from my so very busy schedule. My friends think it was probably the only way I would have taken rest. Secondly, this break from work came at the appropriate time. Any later and my project would have been screwed. And any earlier, I wouldn’t have realized all that I now did. And most importantly it made me realize the importance of people in life.

Here I was, hospitalized for almost a week and these people whom I considered my best friends do not even bother to call on me. Not once do they try to inquire how I was, whether I was even alive. On the other hand, those people that I always considered secondary, those whom I never gave the importance that I now realize they deserve, call me up, come, meet me.. so many times to know how I was.

I now realize how important it is to identify people, to give them their due, to distinguish between the real friends and those flashy, pretentious people who only seem to be your friends. It pains me to realize how I never really cared about these people, who happened to be the only ones who cared about me when I wasn’t doing well. It really pains me to know that I have failed in recognizing people, in distinguishing the good from the bad, the perceptible from the imperceptible and the real from the pretentious.

Looking back, I cant help rueing the fact that the people who I thought were my good friends, didn’t turn out to be all that good . But I also see something that makes me feel so much better.. I still have friends.. in fact, a lot of them. What if they aren’t the ones I thought they would be? I still have people around me, people who care about me. What if some hapless souls dint really care about me.. Its not the end of the world, is it?

But I am happy. Happy that I realized all these things. I have no hard feelings for anyone, for I also realise..one cannot thrust his feelings on others. U cannot expect people to consider you as a friend just because they once did or because you consider them friends. Compassion, Love, Friendship ..these are things that one cannot incite in people. They just happen. One cannot feel bad just because someone doesn’t care about them. That’s the way of life and we gotta learn to live with it and move on. For If you don’t, you will be trapped in the infinite loop of sorrow and worry and will never be able to get out of it.

Thanks guys, for being with me all through. Thank you god, for making me ill, for showing me my true friends, for making me realise all these things. Thank you god for helping me reclaim my life.

1 comment:

Anwar said...

Ahem... i have known for years now tht u r mad, but this is kinda going public... :P
dont you think?